Let's put the pleasantries aside for now, cause you know how much I hate being formal and all so with that out of the way.... Sheesh you have a long name to address to huh? Maybe that's because of the steps you've taken to make certain that you are respected, and not treated like grass in a field, but instead a pretty flower, but I'm not going to question what you've become or what you are becoming, or whether or not I managed to hit the mark in this letter. Why? Because fate is not something certain, and it sure as hell is not unchangeable, and I believe no matter how hard I, as my current self make things difficult for you, you'll be able to find your way back to where you are needed.
First things first, how's the family? I know I've taken them for granted a little... okay maybe a lot, but deep down I know I still love them even with how irritating they may seem. I hope, even though I have a strong faith that you won't abandon them when you finally spread your wings and let yourself be carried into the life of adulthood, that you took care of them through tough times, even the ones that seem to be impossible to fix. Please, don't let them ever feel hopeless or alone, and support them, like what a true brother or son would do. I know I'm not fit to place the burden on you myself, so I'm trying my best- studying harder, being more obedient and trying to be more dependable, which I know it's only a small part of the responsibility, but I hope that you will be able to help me accomplish this.
Now to get more serious, how's your circle looking? I'm going to admit it straight out, I know I've probably killed away your whole school years' friends away and probably my OT mates out of the picture by the time I've finished my school life. I think you would know why I did so and I can feel your anger for me through the internet data, wanting to kill me for making you have to start all over again, but I think you would understand if you just sit back and thought as I have. If you were to mix with people who would rather have you doing something else or not be with them at all, you would just leave them for their sake because you know, the whole "majority rules" thing that the world is so obsessed with, and because you'd trade your happiness for theirs which was more than a bargain for you. Still, I'm not going to excuse myself for what I've done so I understand if you hate me.
As we climb the serious ladder, how are YOU doing? I'm not just going to take a plain "okay" from you, I've had enough of lying to myself, so you should too. Are you feeling lonely, or are you just feeling a strong case of the blues? Are you feeling happy, or are you feeling a strong melancholy feeling? Most importantly, are you still as confused as you were before, or in my day and age, now? I know feelings are hard to understand, and I know how it feels to not understand the surges of feelings that you get, either mixed, or in unclear ways so that it can plague your life even more until you eventually let them control you instead of you controlling them. Yet, I know that through the experiences that I have, and the experiences that are coming ahead of me, you will know how to, maybe even overcome it! (Ps: Writing helps =D)
There's still so much I want to know, like who you like, where are you living, what happened to my one true love, but I don't want to impose on you more than I already have, so I'm gonna slow down and take a step back, look at things in a different, maybe see things in a another way, then I'll write to you again? These things take time and more importantly, courage, so pray for me so that I can continue becoming more and more courageous. And that the end of the day I'm going to show you one of my works, so that you can catch up on my progress, well till next time!
Hi it's you!
Tough times are coming,
No time for running,
So time for us to fight,
Not for others this time,
But for ourselves.
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